Speaker 1: 0:00

Erotic aliveness is a result of being in your truth and being in integrity, and being more aligned and opening up the channel. If you haven't been setting the right boundaries, if you haven't been saying no, you can't go into yes, yeah, oh, that's so good.

Speaker 2: 0:14

And then when you do go into yes, it's like a full, it's a yes. Okay, let's talk about the yes. You have a thing that you call the erotic edge. Tell us about that, nadia. How can we create more sense of community and village? I?

Speaker 1: 0:31

actually think it comes back to embodiment. I think that the more we are connected to our senses, to our primal body, the more our body will lead us in the direction of the village model. We can't just talk about individual liberation. We need to talk about collective liberation. Can't just be I'm going to liberate myself and, as a result, kind of step on someone else to get to that place of liberation. But how do we do it together?

Speaker 2: 0:57

We're expecting our partner to be all of these things that the village used to provide, and so you're not expecting too much, but you're expecting too much from one person If you're in a monogamous relationship, then everything's coming from that person.

Speaker 1: 1:11

If you really wanted to work, you got to show up as 10 different people to please your partner. It's so delicious to have different flavors the same way that we don't want to eat the same meal for dinner every day.

Speaker 2: 1:25

We want novelty. Hey everyone, I've got a quick ask of you. If you're enjoying the whole shebang, could you do me a favor and hit that subscribe or follow button? Or if there's an episode that you think could help someone, would you mind passing it along? It would mean the world to me. Here's why, right now, this show is purely a labor of love. I really do love it. I pour my heart into bringing these conversations because I believe they matter, and so when you subscribe, it really does help the show reach more people, which opens more doors to even more incredible guests and conversations. And, plus, who knows, maybe one day it'll grow into something bigger. But for now, I just want to keep bringing these conversations that move us all forward and expand the collective. So, thank you, thank you, thank For now. I just want to keep bringing these conversations that move us all forward and expand the collective. So, thank you, thank you, thank you in advance for doing that. Okay, now I'm really excited about today's episode.

Speaker 2: 2:12

I'm joined by Nadia Moonla, an embodiment and intimacy coach, who's doing incredible work, helping visionaries reach embodied expression in their love and leadership. Through her work with women and couples, nadia is on a mission to bring more erotic aliveness, intimacy and confidence into her clients' lives. She's the creator of Embody by Nadia, a transformative embodiment method that's helped thousands of women reconnect. Goddess on the Go and the World Domination Summit. Mbadi has reached diverse communities across the world, from retreats in Bali and Peru to a UK women's prison and an eating disorder clinic, and soon she'll be expanding her impact by bringing these teachings to teens and women's of color. Fighting depression. At the heart of Nadia's work is a powerful belief which is embracing our full range, is the key to accessing our deepest potential and creating space for an embodied union that heals the planet. Oh my gosh, I'm so down with this. Okay, I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Welcome to the whole shebang, nadia. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 2: 3:23

I want to start with when I reached out to you. So I reached out to you. I've been following you for a while. I had the pleasure of interviewing your boyfriend Partner. What do you prefer him to be called? Partner, partner, okay, great. So I had the pleasure of interviewing him. And then I've been following you for a while and you were in your stories, in tears one day and sharing just your heart, and that prompted me. I've been wanting to reach out to you. That was like, ok, that's it, I've got to reach out to her right now because it's so. It was so resonant to me, so I think that is like a beautiful place for us.

Speaker 1: 4:09

Like an entry point to this conversation, can you share a little bit about what was happening that day, what you were processing, and then we can take it from there? Yeah, yeah, it was so. It was so sweet to receive your message that day, because I think it can always even though I tend to be pretty vulnerable in my stories and share whatever's on my mind, whether I'm like feisty and angry or whether I'm like in a just like puddle of tears and um, I believe that, dave, if my memory serves me, right there I was in the process.

Speaker 1: 4:36

I'm in the process of, uh, launching a program that I run called Tantra Remixed, and so there's been a lot of talk on my social media about just the tantric lifestyle and that just a lot of stuff around like juicy, yummy, erotic aliveness, and, at the same time, there's this juxtaposition where we are seeing just so much tragedy in what's happening in my part of the world, where I grew up in the Middle East, and so I was speaking to how a lot of entrepreneurs are either kind of categorizing these two as two separate topics, like, oh, I can talk about the juicy, yummy individual, like reignite your sex life, and then I can talk about the politics and you know, just like the human rights issues in the world, but somehow they're not connected and for me it's all one conversation.

Speaker 1: 5:37

And I was talking about the fact that when we are tuning more into our own aliveness, when we connect deeper to our own individual body, we inevitably are then more connected to all the people, the more they're going to make better decisions, where we are going to be making decisions from a place of love and connection more than we are going to be making decisions from a place of separation and hate and dysfunction.

Speaker 2: 6:22

It's so powerful. I think one of the things you said was like this is why you said it's not as sexy to market like get in your body so we can like. I don't remember the words you said, but the way that I took it was was like it's just not as sexy to say let's get into our bodies so that we can be more connected to the planet. It's much more sexy to market erotic aliveness, right, and there's this. I'm sure I don't want to put words in your mouth so you can correct me, but there's this pull and I feel this pull because there's so many layers to it. Right, it's like erotic aliveness is great in and of itself. There's nothing wrong with us marketing that and pursuing that and that's beautiful.

Speaker 2: 7:05

And in my short journey, comparatively speaking, into I guess I would say embodiment or what I'm calling the feminine, I'm feeling like it is the answer To me. Being in the body is the answer to that, to all our problems. Can I like way oversimplify it? I just feel like that's the bit of a huge missing piece. So when I heard you and felt you pulling those things together and briefly explaining the connection, I just was like oh, because I feel like it's been so hard for me to connect those dots, to like explain this isn't just about sex. This is about so much more.

Speaker 1: 7:52

Yeah, yeah, and I think there's the classic standard marketing advice, and yet I'm still going on there and not doing that. And I'm not doing that because I actually believe that there is a subset of the population and hopefully, over time, everyone who understands this connection like you did. It resonated with you because a lot of the people that I support have at least one. You know, there's a whole bunch of archetypes that we may end up getting into in this conversation anyways, but one of the archetypes is the archetype of the weaver. And, um, because I work a lot with different archetypes and the weaver to me is a leader who understands that we are inside an intricate web of we and that it's not just about ourselves. And so I'm personally giving a big middle finger to the more classic, what I think is more capitalistic, patriarchal and separate, separation based marketing that says, oh, people are only going to buy to solve their own problems.

Speaker 1: 8:52

Yes, I think it's really helpful to, and it is important when we are suffering or challenged by something, we're going to think about ourselves first, because we're in our own experience. That trumps everything else, of course, and I believe that they're more and more in the maturation process of humans. We are starting to understand that we can actually do both. We can take care of ourselves, and by taking care of ourselves, we're also taking care of the we, and there's a way to do that, and so that's part of why I was speaking to that and why I try to speak to that as often as I can.

Speaker 1: 9:26

We can't just talk about individual liberation. We need to talk about collective liberation, and that means taking into account the collective body, not just nature, which is what we kind of address, but also the other people around the world and you know everything like marginalized humans, like everyone involved. Um, it needs to be part of this vision of liberation that we have. It can't just be I'm going to liberate myself and actually, as a result, kind of step on someone else to get to that place of liberation. But how do we do it together?

Speaker 2: 10:02

And that's where the middle finger to the classic way of doing this is coming in.

Speaker 1: 10:07

I mean partly, I would say yeah and I think just, I believe, I believe we're better. I believe we're better. I believe that we all have the the we perspective in us, but I think a lot of capitalism and kind of the, a lot of the Western ethos has taken us in the direction of separation, individualism, nuclear family instead of the village model, a lot of different ways in which it's just about me, me and my kid and my family, but everyone's, like I feel, isolated and not taken care of. So it's not actually working.

Speaker 2: 10:43

Do you have? We didn't plan to talk about this, but I am loving this right now. I've been thinking a lot about it. Right Like it's, it's one thing to sit and think about. How do we? As a small example which is related in some ways to your work, I was listening to a reel on Instagram.

Speaker 2: 11:02

Esther Perel was being interviewed by somebody and she said you know, we're we're expecting a lot from our partners right now. We're expecting our partner to be all of these things that the village used to provide, and so you're not expecting too much, but you're expecting too much from one person. And so you know again, all of this is interconnected, but it's got me thinking about okay, well, what do we do? What do I do as an individual? What do we do? We're on a podcast right now. How how do we, how can we start to, or how can a listener that's listening today start to shift from me, me, me to we like? How can we create more sense of a community and village? And I don't know what would you say to that. What are your?

Speaker 1: 11:47

thoughts. I actually think it comes back to embodiment. I think that the more we are connected to our senses, to our primal body, to the experience of our inner landscape, the more our body will lead us in the direction of the village model, because if you look at other animals that herd or flock, they're not thinking about it. It's not like a strategy like okay, how do we create the the? You know, like even you see the birds flying. I forget what you call it, but you know when they're doing the V Migrating.

Speaker 2: 12:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:21

When they're doing that V thing. Um, they're not. They didn't hire a business coach to figure out how to do that, like they just know. And I believe our primal bodies know the best way to live in connection with each other, as a village and in connection with the planet we live on. But the reason we don't right now is because we're not connected to our bodies and therefore we're susceptible to mental brainwashing. And that sounds so like extreme and like out there, but any system that is telling you to move away from your natural instinct is you getting brainwashed and we? It's. It's a it's a rough moment of truth for us to look in the mirror as humans who are like oh, we're so much better than all the other animals, like we are developing and evolving and AI and this and that and all the systems of productivity and factories. Has that really helped us? Actually, it's just pulled us more and more away from what's true, and so I think we're in this place.

Speaker 1: 13:32

When you are talking about the people who are like I just need to put my hands in dirt. I also. I grew up in a city many and then I lived in city after city after city, and it wasn't until recently that I had a little patch of garden where I was like, oh, I have to weed. I got to learn how to weed putting my hands in the dirt, and then it became an addiction. I was like I love this, I love being out there, I don't want to be on my computer, I want to be out there weeding. And so I understand that instinct so much and I really think it's because when I actually slowed down and there would be days when I'm like, oh man, I have a deadline, I can't be outside in the garden, I have to do this thing on the computer, but my natural instinct is I want to be outside, I don't want to be on zoom.

Speaker 2: 14:14

It seems so basic, but that just I love how you brought it back around to that Like what is our natural instinct? How do we get in tune with our bodies? It's the theme over and over and over the the. The biggest like pushback I hear in my mind from people are the people that perceive it as being woo, but to me I'm like there's also just so much science behind the intuitive body and there's quantum physics now and there's all of this stuff coming forward that just continues to point to and, to be honest, I don't know how much I care anymore. I mean, a year ago when I started this podcast, I cared that people thought it was too woo, and now I'm like you can keep trying to solve your problems in your mind, but there is so much truth in our knowing it's like we might as well go there.

Speaker 1: 15:03

I was just going to add in just, farmers are a perfect archetype of like. They're not woo, but they're super connected to the land and they're showing up every day and doing the thing outside.

Speaker 2: 15:14

And yeah, okay, one of the things I wanted to circle back to that we touched on earlier when we chatted was, as we are being confronted with, or engaging with, what's happening around the world all the shit that's burning down and injustices that we're seeing Um, it can be really overwhelming to our systems emotionally. Um, I'd love to hear you know your insight on how we stay nourished or what. How do we engage with that in a way that is healthy?

Speaker 1: 15:49

Yeah, yeah, I mean, this is such a tough one. It's really tough because it's a daily recalibration of what do I have capacity for, and so we've never, ever in the history of humanity, had access to so much information all in like five seconds. Like you open Instagram and it's just like all the stuff right there and it's in your living room. And in the past, even having to go out and, like, purchase a newspaper to read the news, right, and only certain news would come to you. So there's, of course, again, pros and cons. To now, we have access to news that wouldn't be printed in the newspaper and isn't currently being printed in the newspaper, and yet the downside of that is that it's always there and there's.

Speaker 1: 16:42

It's so easy for us to feel like we have to consume it all the time, like it's our responsibility to be in the knowing. I know I get that all the time. I gotta gotta know what's going on and I gotta be a champion of every single cause, right, like if, right now, you are even remotely in the activist bubble and you will mention one atrocity without the other. It's like, oh, why did you prioritize one? And the truth is like some of us just have certain causes that are more important to us, that have some, either because we grew up in that region, we're connected to that cause, or like we can't equally be a champion of everything, and yet there is this like extreme pressure to do so. So the combination of feeling the pressure to be a voice for everyone, to stay up to date with all the information, to see uncensored photos of things that are just horrific to see on a consistent, daily basis like you can be making potatoes in your kitchen and turn on open Instagram and see that and just be like Whoa Um and then go back to making the potatoes Like our nervous system is not used to that level of up and down.

Speaker 1: 18:03

It's more like you're either born in a war and dealing with that, and so it's a full-time job, or you have a moment where, back in the day, a wild animal is chasing you and you have to run away and you either make it or you don't, right, but this like kind of constant back and forth between, like, what you're supposed to be in a regulated state for, which is just your day-to-day mundane tasks, combined with like this extreme information that's coming at you, is just so incredibly jarring to our nervous system, and so I mean the most obvious one is like minimize social media use.

Speaker 1: 18:42

Be aware that if you're going to go on Instagram, that there's certain things that might pop up, and so are you in that capacity to do so in that moment, or do you need to be just taking a few days off and not feeling guilty about it? Um, a lot of this comes back to there's there's a few layers here, but the most basic one is like how do we build capacity on a day-to-day basis, and should we build capacity Like, should we be more immune to horrible images or not? Right?

Speaker 2: 19:21

So these are such big questions.

Speaker 1: 19:23

Yeah, I know, and we can't unfortunately I've still in the inquiry so I can't give you all the answers. But it's like, unfortunately I've still in the inquiry so I can't give you all the answers, but it's like it's, it's a lot, right. So there's the like how much capacity should we have? Or should we just be okay, cause now I'm getting to the point where I'm just looking at stuff and I'm like yep, yep, which in itself is problematic, right, cause we start to lose our humanity, like are you desensitizing almost yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:49

One of the.

Speaker 2: 19:49

You know, as you said earlier, this idea of responsibility. I don't know when it was it was probably 20 years ago that I first watched a horrible movie about I don't know what atrocity it was and and started to feel this sense of like people are living this experience, feel this sense of like people are living this experience and I'm over in this little cozy bubble here and really wrestling with this, um, like an actual wrestling with, I feel, a sense of responsibility. If they're living it, how can I just decide to turn away from it? And so, when you brought that up, I think that again, it's another one of those big questions of, and also for me, I feel like, if I have no knowledge of what's happening, then how can I be a weaver? How can I be if I don't know where people are at or what's going on? How can I be leading anything or connected to it? Would I intuitively know enough to know? So there's I don't think, of course, as most things aren't black and white that it's entirely black and white, but big questions.

Speaker 1: 20:57

Yeah, I mean it just reminded me of kind of the second layer, which is that I do see so many women out there in the entrepreneurial world who are weavers in the entrepreneurial world, who are weavers, who are making millions and using a lot of that money to create projects for parts of the world or particular marginalized humans that otherwise wouldn't have benefited from that money. So I think often people think, oh well, the most important thing I can do is consume information. But if consuming a ton of information, if that's going to shut you down and freak you out and burn you out, that's not. You can't then show up and do what you need to do. So you also have to fill your cup and often the women who I see, who are looking at the weed the most, are actually going all right, let's make a shit ton of money and let's use a big percentage of it to see what can we create, what projects can we do to help that part of the world.

Speaker 1: 22:03

Because, um, this is kind of you know, one of the things I, one of my majors in undergrad, was international development studies and one thing that we did a lot of uh, we read through a lot of research and case studies of how, when the IMF and the world bank would send a dollar over to and put it in the hands of women in the village in developing countries all around the world, they would take that dollar and do so much more, use that dollar and extend it so much more for the village than a man. And so it's. You know, I love me the men. They have so many beautiful gifts we're going to get back to talking about how amazing the men are.

Speaker 1: 22:50

Just like yes and and this is not their strength, because as women we do naturally have web thinking we are more inclined to think about the we. It's just how literally our neurology is like, wired in a way that we are able to think about more than one thing at a time. The men have that very hyper-focused let's go from A to B thing, which we can develop as well. We have that masculine ability. So I'm not suggesting that these are separate, but we are naturally inclined to think more about the we. And so I think in the Western world, getting more money in the hands of women who are socially inclined, who are thinking about the bigger picture, is actually a really beautiful way to still be like I'm filling my own cup but I'm not looking away. Oh no, I'm focused on my mission, because part of my mission is the we. I'm just not going to burn myself out by just taking in information and doing a lot of talk, talk, talk, talk, talk about it, but not actually action.

Speaker 2: 23:57

I'd like to talk about money in the hands of women a little bit more, if we can. I look at you doing a little dance. I'm going to have a little confession time with Jen. I was planning on doing like a solo podcast to just kind of. This is what I do. I just share what's happening in my life. I'm going to share a little piece of this with you Cause I think it's connected that, um, I've been on a journey, as all of us are and and have had all of these years, you know, a good decade of what I would say is some level of success, I would say always leadership in some regard in the last handful of years, making pretty good money.

Speaker 2: 24:33

Um got into this, this feminine, masculine thing, because I I felt myself being very out of balance. I was in an unhealthy, I would say unhealthy rut of the masculine. So the pendulum swung and I get into the feminine and I'm like, ooh, this feels so yummy. I'm like, yeah, so lush and and also really realizing it, I would say, in the last like four months, so just recently, as I've fallen into that place of rest which I think I needed, and I see that for what it is now and feeling like I woke up one day feeling sorry for myself, like single, and kind of like I've always been the one to rescue. I've always been the one to show up and like, pick everybody else up, like when's it my turn? When is somebody going to come in and scoop me up and rescue me and pay my bills?

Speaker 2: 25:31

And then I stopped with my pity party and did some more inner work and was like I am wired to succeed, to succeed in this Western world. I am wired to lead. And like how can I be all of this? Oh shit, jen, of course it's all of this. It's never one or the other, but like I had been resenting the fact that I have an ability to lead and make money. And then feeling like, if I do that, am I ever going to get a partner who can handle me in that space? Who can handle me in that space?

Speaker 2: 26:13

And and what's what I feel like is developing now is a new vision of what this woman looks like, who isn't an unhealthy dominant bitch bulldozing everyone. And who isn't this like we kind of teased about this when we talked who isn't just like let me surrender and bake sourdough. Like it's not just that either. It's something more than that, and so what's been coming forward for me and I'm so glad that you went here is this like and I've heard it from a few places, so I'm curious if you're sensing this, or hearing this on a grander scale that they're. As we're entering into a new iteration, a new season, a new era, is the money going to move into the hands of women more and or what's the opportunity here? And what are we? What do you see being birthed with women? The feminine money.

Speaker 1: 27:04

Okay, I feel like I'm going to do like the the long winded. Coming back to money piece, because I, you started to speak to these very extreme stereotypes and cliches that we are being sold as like, this is the Holy grail, right? So, whether it's initially it was run your own business, be your own boss, make your own money, like boss babe, heaven, great. Then it was like, oh, just get a man who provides for everything and you just get to like garden and you know homestead and and trad wife it all day long and yay, right. And I'm, I guess, so mad, the same way that I stand for the, the complexity and intelligence of my um, the people that I serve, which I really believe ultimately will end up being, you know, everyone. It's just that right now it's like the first people who are starting to realize this. So that's currently the people I serve. But this idea that like, it's not just the simple classic, like, oh, what is your personal pain problem? And let me come and solve it. Same thing as with this, like trad wife and you know extreme boss babe world, it's like they, they, they play on this one particular pain point and because you have that pain point, you think, oh, let me swing the pendulum in the opposite direction and that's going to solve all my problems. But I'm a stand for our complexity, our range, our multifacetedness, like we do not have to be one or the other, you don't have to choose, you get to be a little bit about all those things. And I actually believe that the winning formula for a lot of us and I'm not saying we're all on a spectrum, so some people will like their life's work is I'm going to be a traditional housewife and mom, there's I. Some days I'm like, please, I wish just God, can we just just be simple, can we just do that Right? And then and then for some people it is to really be a fortune 500 CEO, boss, babe, like getting shit done, beautiful.

Speaker 1: 29:20

For a lot of us we're somewhere in the middle and we get to be a little bit of all those pieces and we get to look at the shadow and the light side of each one of these archetypes. So we already kind of talked about the weaver, the one that's taking into account the village, but we also have, you know, the part of us that is very much devotional and loving and nurturing, and I call her the devotional wife archetype, even though you don't have to be. It doesn't have to be that you ever want to get married, but it's just that energy of the, the, the partner and the mother that wants to give. It's very much the mother Mary inspired archetype, if we want to just have a reference that a lot of people know, and then on the flip side, we have the Mary Magdalene inspired archetype, what I like to call the sacred slut, right, and this is everything about our erotic aliveness and our juiciness and all the fun, pleasure filled, hedonistic, possibly taboo things that we want to do in our lives, that that bring us more erotic aliveness, and so we don't have to fully just live in one quadrant. You know, we get to play in all of these different areas and find the wholeness and the sacredness that comes from being a little bit of all these pieces, and so I actually think that that is fulfilling to us, because now we get all these different needs met without having to fully take over and be that persona, and only that persona, which can get boring, and at the same time it's also very fulfilling for our partners, because they get different flavors of us, they get different archetypes. It's a way in which they get to experience many different partners in one, essentially, which we all, we all like a buffet because, by the way, it's the same thing reversed. It's the same thing reversed Like we will want a whole set of different characteristics and archetypes in our partners as well. Um, that's kind of a slightly separate conversation. So, to pull it back into the money piece, I think that there is a way in which we can satisfy all these pieces.

Speaker 1: 31:38

So I don't believe that we should go back to, you know, as a, as Western women. We've forgotten the immense privilege we have with the rights that we have in the Western world that still don't exist in many cultures or just even didn't exist for us 20, 30, 40 years ago. Yeah, having your own bank account didn't even exist until I don't even know I think I was. Where was it? Was it Switzerland?

Speaker 1: 32:09

Someone was telling me Switzerland didn't happen until like the eighties. You can have a bank account as a woman, like it has not been that long. And yet there's this whole shift into just let the man have all the money and just let him support you. And I understand, because I'm more than anything want to surrender into I don't have to ever make money and just want to bake the sourdough. But the truth is I have been offered that opportunity and the shit that came up for me, which was all very valid, was very interesting to look at, where I had a partner who said hey, I would really love for you to not like have to work, like you could work occasionally here and there, but I want to fully provide.

Speaker 2: 32:56

And I was like wait.

Speaker 1: 32:57

I was like, uh, excuse me, what? First of all, there's many layers. One is like, wait, I can't receive all of that, and that's the piece I think we get to work on. Like, wait, maybe I can receive all of that. But then I was also just like the responsible part of the feminist part of my brain came on board and was like you guys are not married, what if he leaves? You've put eight.

Speaker 1: 33:23

At that point it was about eight years into my business. For me to stop my business and stop the momentum in my business could be the death of my business. And so for me to let that go, um, and not know like well, this person walk away. And then what? How do I make money? Like I would have to take. It would take a few years to rev up the engine again, and so that one was a very practical solution. I said, hey, if we're going to do this fully, I would like a contract, even though we're not married, where, for a certain number of years after, you're actually paying me, because it's a huge risk I'm taking to lean back and fully get supported by you, and it's going to take me a while to get myself back on my feet, um. So there was that piece, but then there's also the piece that took a while. That was the last one that landed where I did start to cut down.

Speaker 1: 34:12

I went on a very intentional hiatus for a while and was like, oh my God, I'm so bored Like I.

Speaker 1: 34:20

I am someone who has so much drive and purpose and passion and visions for humanity and I do want to teach and I do want to coach and I do want to do all these things even if no one ever pays me, and so I think we get to all sit with and not everyone's going to have the same experience I did.

Speaker 1: 34:38

Right, some people might be totally fine to receive. Some people might be like my purpose is motherhood beautiful? I had to grapple with like how much of it is me being a homemaker, because I do love that side of me and it's very strong for a modern woman and at the same time I'm like, yeah, but I'm also a visionary and I do want to create things in the world, and so how can I still have the need to be protected and provided for in my space and in my partnership without necessarily letting go of other needs that I have, which is, have my own money because, hi, we're 2024. Why not? And then two to be able to create beautiful things in the world that isn't just a baby or you know, a loaf of bread, some really great sourdoughs out there, like I'm on Instagram watching people do like gold glitter engraved sourdough and I'm like life goals people.

Speaker 2: 35:41

I love this. You know one of the things when you're talking about this um, I don't remember what the phrase was. I feel like it was maybe 10 years ago that it was kind of this idea that women had to be everything be the superwoman, be the mom, be the CEO, be all of it. And I think what I'm hearing you say, what I'm sensing you say, and what I'm feeling in my own self is a very different. It's similar linguistics, but it's a very different reality of not trying to be all of those things. 110%.

Speaker 2: 36:12

It's really understanding like I don't know if this is the way you use the word range, but that there's a range and all of those pieces and that we just we don't try to make the pie bigger and be more of everything, because more is not always more. Be more of everything, because more is not always more. But how can I, how can I be okay with, like, growing my business slower, because that is nature's way? How can I be okay with resting more and enjoying baking the sourdough bread rather than baking it in a hurry, because I feel like I should bake sourdough bread while I'm thinking about how I'm going to make more money? Like it to me.

Speaker 2: 36:48

Maybe it comes back to a piece of that embodiment. But how can we be all of those things in a way that feels aligned and nourishing and not like I'm just like, well, I guess I have to do all of it, cause we don't? It's maybe back to what you said, too, about we don't have to do all of it If it doesn't feel true to to us, if we just want to be one thing for a season, um, but it feels really, uh, liberating to me to hear another woman, and a woman you particularly, that I respect, to talk about this in a way that feels like, um, yeah, I can do this, I can go make a shit ton of money because I can, because I have the opportunity to do that, and I can still be like, yummy, it doesn't have to be Like, what did you say? You said we've been sold. You've been sold these ideas.

Speaker 1: 37:44

That is frustrating and I don't think it's so much about doing and more about being right. So I think that helps take the pressure off where it's not just because, oh, I want to be connected to my sacred slut, my devotional wife, my weaver, and we have a million other archetypes, but those are kind of just the framework. That's within this framework, the ones that I work with. Yeah, it doesn't mean you have to do full time all three, right? It isn't that like now that I've chosen all three, I have more tasks on my to-do list, because that sounds horrible, right. It's more about I have all of these deep yearnings connected to different archetypes in me. How can I feed them and have them be met in small doses in different ways in my life? How do I feed the one that has a purpose and a mission? How do I feed the one that loves to nurture and make beauty in the home? And how do I feed the one that wants to be fed with erotic aliveness? And so it's less about adding more to your plate and more about it's kind of like.

Speaker 1: 38:54

Let's use the analogy of a plate of food. So I actually started as a health coach Background background, random trivia yeah. So holistic health coaching is actually how I entered into the world of coaching and I slowly shifted and I slowly shifted. But if you have a plate of food, right, you can take that same quantity that fits on a plate and make it 10 times more nutritional so that your body feels vibrant and alive, and you can use that same plate of uh to to fill it with, you know, junk food or something that's just very nutritionally empty.

Speaker 1: 39:29

And I think that's what I'm talking about. It's not necessarily having two plates of food or adding more to the plate of food, it's using the same amount but making sure it's nutritionally dense and so from an embodied level it's like archetypally dense, right. How do I do that one or two things with my partner a week that really feeds my sacred slut? How do I do that thing once or twice a week where on a Saturday morning I pickle or bake the bread or do whatever it is that just makes me feel good, or garden outside, but it doesn't mean I'm doing that full time. Yeah, that's so good.

Speaker 2: 40:04

Okay, I would like to move into these archetypes a little bit more. I shared with you that Alex had posted this beautiful like happy birthday Nadia post and two or three times in the post he mentioned how beautiful your range is and I was like I wonder what Nadia's range is. What can you share, nadia?

Speaker 1: 40:30

Well, I think we started with this framework as part of it. Right, it's just about playing every note of the symphony that you are, and I think for most of us, we're only playing a few notes, and so we don't feel great about it, we don't feel fully nourished and it also doesn't as we can see with a lot of modern relationships it's not fulfilling. That's why relationships are not working out. A lot is because there's needs that are not being met. Right, which actually goes back to I don't know where we ended up on the tangent with Esther Perel, but right, cause she was also talking about this idea that you can't expect everything out of your partner, which I think is true. And now, because we don't have the village, we are expecting more of things where the village doesn't necessarily come into play unless you're in certain cultures. Right, it's, it's, you will want to get that.

Speaker 1: 41:40

If you're in a monogamous relationship, then everything's coming from that person. You know, we that's. I mean, this is a separate conversation, because I've been in open relationships and I've been in monogamous relationships and I have quite a whole thing around that. But if you have made the commitment to be in a monogamous relationship, then I believe part of the commitment to be in a monogamous relationship. If you really wanted to work, is you got to show up as 10 different people to please your partner?

Speaker 2: 42:05

Can we talk about this? Yeah, we're left turning, let's go. So, david Data I don't know if the listeners know I can link, but, um, it was probably two years ago now. I was. It took like an online course that he had, and I was sort of mortified when I first heard this concept.

Speaker 2: 42:22

To be honest, like I grew up again very religious, very monogamous, like one person, the idea that we would even be, um, curious about multiple people or multiple textures when in a committed monogamous relationship was just like what? Like that's not a, that's not a thing. So, anyways, I'm listening to David Data and he's talking about how men in particular are just like they want a, they love variety. And so if you're out to dinner and you know this is the example he used You're out to dinner and I don't know, you're at a restaurant and the waitress is like an African bodybuilder and she comes up to wait on the table and you notice that your man like kind of lights up at that energy.

Speaker 2: 43:07

Instead of getting pissed that he lights up at that energy, you can go. Okay, he's lighting up at that energy. How can I embody that and bring that home? How can I bring that to the bedroom? And and it took me weeks to like accept this reality I was like, oh, okay, okay. But then after, except like accepting that and then also understanding, oh, I have some of that in me, it's very freeing Then you're like oh well, now this can become kind of a game or fun. Is that the same thing that you're talking about? Yeah, totally.

Speaker 2: 43:46

Just like 10 different people, okay.

Speaker 1: 43:48

Exactly Because the word textures, which is used a lot in the David data world, is essentially another like semantically is just referring to archetypes.

Speaker 2: 43:57

Yeah, okay, yeah, so you've. So have you been working on your archetypes? Or do you see, alex, light up at things and you're like, ooh, there's another framework of archetypes. Um, before I even started my coaching practice.

Speaker 1: 44:15

So about 13, 14 years ago, I got trained in sensual movement and a particular uh modality called S factor, and S factor works with 10 different erotic icons which are also it's another word for archetypes, and five of them are what they consider the dark emotions, and five are the lighter emotions which you know. Take it or leave it in terms of that, those words, but essentially the idea being that your eroticism can have 10 different emotions behind it, and each one is an archetype. So there's things like you know, the sad, like soulful siren, who's, like you know, erotic, but in her like weeping right. And then you've got the dangerous challenger, who's very much like the feisty, like I will kill you before you kill me, vibes that there's like the ice queen that's all about like disgust and repulse, like she's just repulsed at everything, but there's something like hot and sexy about that kind of like. The ice queen that's all about like disgust and repulse, like she's just repulsed at everything, but there's something like hot and sexy about that kind of like. The Dom, like very like Dom, femme, dom, energy Right.

Speaker 1: 45:19

And then you also have, like the innocent teaser. She's the one that's a very Marilyn Monroe archetype. She's like oops, my skirt just flew up. Oh my God, you know, right, and there's so many other ones. I'm not going to go through every single one, but essentially you get an idea that each one of these you can see has this archetypal energy, that is, that could be a texture or a flavor that's very hot to your partner. Now let's reverse it too and talk about us, like, why is there a constant cliche about you know, rich women having an affair with a pool boy? Right, it's the typical. Oh well, I'm married for, like provider energy, for safety. You know, again, this is all like very assumptive, but like, let's just assume. And then the pool boy is like you, you know, maybe like a little bad boy, like young, hot, like still has that, like very, like, uh, fertile. I'm like, what's the male version of fertile?

Speaker 1: 46:22

but let's just say fertile, like you know. Energy, that is just like attractive. And so we as well have quite a variety of different archetypes. We want, want the like lover. You know, it's like the, the think about the European man who's all in his heart and is, like, you know, me amor and like. So, whatever, and then.

Speaker 1: 46:43

Then we also want like the bad boy, like warrior. We also want like the magician and the master, who's like energetically attuned and like just knows how to manipulate the cosmos, like who doesn't want that? Then we want the provider. Like how many women are like yeah, I really want someone who can just pay for my dinner. That's hot, and then and then protector. We kind of went over with the warrior. So there's, there's, you know, and there's more of those as well. There's a range of of the men and the women, but there's it's so delicious to have different flavors, the same way that we don't want to eat the same meal for dinner every day. We want novelty, we want a whole range of everything and it will also feel it's not just good for the other person, it's feels good for yourself to be, to have the ability.

Speaker 1: 47:40

So the work that I do is then to help people access the dial to all those archetypes, because they're in in all of us, no matter what, but some of us have had them dormant. Certain ones have just been like in a closet somewhere for years, and people come to me and go oh yeah, that's just not. I don't really do the like angry, sexy thing and I'm like, just you wait until we have a session, right? Or they're like, oh, I'm not really like the joyful maiden type and I'm like, yes, you are it just going to. It's going to take a while to evoke that out of you because maybe in growing up I know this was for me in growing up I didn't have that much of the joy and the play and the innocence, so like that's a hard energy for me to access, but like fighting for my life, I can do that in a heartbeat because that's how I grew up, right?

Speaker 1: 48:26

So we all have different stories that allow us to access these or not. But I don't believe any of us can't. We just have to work with what blocks are coming up in the way, which is where coaching comes in, right, it's like really getting clear what's the belief system, what is the story. That's also in your muscles, because it's one thing to work with the mind, it's another thing to work with the body. That now has taken a story on and a belief on and it literally fits into our fascia and our muscles in a way that stops us from being able to express an open into the shape of joy or to open into the shape of I have a boundary, I'm a no, you know, like whatever it might be for us.

Speaker 2: 49:06

So, because everything's interconnected, connected within us, within the collective, I'm curious if you have any specific examples, whether it's yourself or your clients, of what's happened when they've awoken, awakened, tapped into some of these archetypes that have been totally dormant or shut down, or what happens when people get more into their body and come more online in that way in in maybe any particular area of life or in all of area of life. Do you have any examples that you've seen that you're like Whoa?

Speaker 1: 49:42

Yeah, my, it just keeps coming up over and over again. Where I tend to focus although I can access everything, mainly people come to me to get clearer on their boundaries, on their truest voice, like, really, what is their truth? And so often what happens is there's a period in which so let's say, they think they can't access their anger or their no we really work on that somatically and then there's a phase of like there's so much no and there's so much anger and there's so much grief and there's. But then they come out on the other side and they get to now say no to everything in their life. That's actually not real, and sometimes those are big things.

Speaker 1: 50:23

Sometimes that's a shift in your career, sometimes that's leaving a marriage, sometimes that's moving to another country, sometimes it's all of the above at once. Right, but it's really this, this getting to a point where you have no option but to face the truth and to fight for your for that truth. And to do that, you have to start by allowing your body, creating safety, to allow your body to feel that which she wasn't able to feel, um, for whatever reason, because of different belief systems yeah, so it's usually that. And then erotic aliveness comes after, because erotic aliveness is a result of being in your truth and being in integrity and being more aligned and opening up the channel. So usually, if you have to, if you haven't been setting the right to, if you haven't been setting the right boundaries, if you haven't been saying no, you can't go into yes.

Speaker 2: 51:17

Yeah, oh, that's so good. And then when you do go into, yes, it's like a full, it's a yes. It's a yes If you guys are watching this on YouTube. You need to go watch this on YouTube and look at Nadia's expression just now. It's so good. It's a yes. Okay, let's talk about the yes, you have a thing that you call the erotic edge. Tell us about that, nadia.

Speaker 1: 51:42

Yeah, so the erotic edge is this idea. It's this place, this place that you can get to, where you know, like the idea of.

Speaker 2: 51:50

Can I just pause? You get to where you know, like the idea of. It is like bubbling with joy right now and I'm feeling it. It just feels good.

Speaker 1: 52:00

Okay, okay, yeah, because it's this, it's this, it's this place where your fear, your excitement and your turn on meat. And I like it because when we think about an edge, right, whenever we think about, like, jumping off a cliff and taking that risk, or when we think about edging, which is the idea and the practice of getting close to an orgasmic peak, but not actually peaking, staying in the waves of orgasm, which to me, is like erotic aliveness and embodiment to the max. So, finding your unique erotic edge, which is going to be different for each person and different within each person's life, what chapter they're in, it's like, oh well, this year. Like my erotic edge is actually this place and this is the place where and the sweet spot is exactly that place where you feel some fear, but you're also feeling excitement and you're also like this kind of is turning me on. That's where we want to be, if you can operate in that place. And so when I'm working with clients one-on-one, I love to identify what is that erotic edge for you and how do we get you there and what's stopping you from getting there.

Speaker 1: 53:08

Because living at that vibration of like oh my God, it scares the shit out of me, but I love it. Like I'm about to move from not just one country to another. I am moving from the U? S to Europe like a whole nother continent. I'm starting all over again. And that's my erotic edge right now. I'm like Ooh, like I've moved, you know, all the state to state, no problem, like that's easy. It's not an edge for me, but that's still felt like within my comfort zone. But this is like that's the place where I'm like Ooh, this is so fucking scary Cause I don't know if it's going to work or not, but also it could be the best thing ever and that's why it turns me on. And so each person has that thing in their own life that for them, is now important and is the North, is the North star and the compass of like Ooh, I want to do that thing, but it scares the shit out of me, but in a like good way where I feel turned on and excited about it too.

Speaker 2: 54:02

I'm thinking. I was uh again on Instagram the other day and I saw this clip. It was a comedian and he he was like you know, when you've been married 21 years, there's no more mystery left. There's nothing. He said I drank too much one night. I came home in the morning and she was like what is this? And she was like poking a wad of toilet paper that he had shoved between his butt cheeks because he thought he was gonna shit himself.

Speaker 2: 54:42

So anyways, he goes into this. I might have to edit this out, I don't know. So anyways, he goes into this thing about how, like there's no more mystery left and like just sex, I love it. Or 20 years in a marriage, or maybe 10 years into a partnership where people are like, yeah, it's still pretty good, but they're maybe not feeling alive. Or maybe there's a woman that's just had a baby and she hasn't tapped. She's like full-on nursing and full-on mothering role and hasn't tapped back into her erotic aliveness. Would you use this technique as a way to kind of get people to come back in line? Or where would you? Where would you tell somebody to start that's coming to you and saying I just want to feel like alive again?

Speaker 1: 55:43

That's a great question. I mean, I do think there are a few unique, unique situations in life, like birth and death, that require full, full focus on grieving or on nursing and nurturing, and in those phases it's a little bit more difficult because the me disappears right. So with with motherhood, for the first period, you are not you. You are fully this kid's needs. You are like the answer to every need this child has and that's your sole purpose. And so in those chapters it's you.

Speaker 1: 56:32

You don't usually have people coming to coaches because there is no space to go into what are my own intentions's, that same, like I don't really exist, my needs don't like. I'm just kind of swallowed in this black cloud of grief, which is an important process to go through to then emerge back out and individuate. So I think in those situations something like therapy is actually a lot more of a supportive modality if needed. And coaching, I think, really comes from when you're already in a place that's good and you're trying to get to that place of an erotic edge where you're like, okay, yeah, I'm going about, I'm fine, I'm generally okay and healthy, I'm generally like surviving, but I really want to be like thriving. And this is just my personal take on how do you create more buzz and aliveness? It's like find that place that scares the shit out of you, but not to the point where you shut down, just exactly to that sweet spot where it wakes you up and has you go Ooh can you give us some examples?

Speaker 2: 57:51

What are the things that people are, like, scared of?

Speaker 1: 57:55

I mean it's pretty classic.

Speaker 1: 57:57

It's like it's it could be as big as I really want to leave this job that's sucking my soul and start this, this entrepreneurial idea that I have and that's so scary because it is it takes a lot of risk where it could be as simple, as you know, for certain people asking someone out, putting themselves out there.

Speaker 1: 58:20

I love when I go to the grocery store and I just get a man coming up to me and like just being like you are so beautiful, like can I take you out. I'm just like, oh my God, thank you so much, because I know how much it took for them to ask, even though I'm like sorry, I'm in a relationship, but it's like like wow, like you did that, and I'm so happy for them because they did that for themselves. I knew that that was an erotic edge for them. I might not be the yes they're looking for, but the next person might, and they're practicing that muscle, and so I think it could be as big as like a huge life change or something that can seem really basic, like asking someone and facing rejection, or also saying no to someone and facing the loss of acceptance or love which is also rejection right and so putting a boundary.

Speaker 1: 59:12

I have a lot of stuff with a lot of clients, with their moms because we work a lot because we work a lot with boundary, boundary and, like you know, holding, holding your uh, getting clear on your voice. There's a lot of stuff with parents that will come up, and so it could be as simple as having one conversation that may seem like it's about something not even big, and they finally hold their ground and go no, no mom, I'm not going to do that, but lovingly, like I'm going to hold a boundary, lovingly, I'm not going to be like no mom, which is what all of us you know would do, Cause we go back into, like our teenage self.

Speaker 2: 59:52

Yeah, that's a great framework. I didn't, I didn't expect you to use those as examples, but to go, especially this time of year if people are going into the new year with like what's a, what's a, what's a theme or a word or a way that I want to approach or something I'm going to work on, to be asking the question in any daily scenario, where's the edge that I feel scared and excited? And what's the third thing scared, excited and turned on. Turned on. Okay, yeah, I like that. Okay, I want to just um, talk about Tantra remix Cause. When is that starting? January 21st, okay, so there's time still for people to sign up for this. I'm looking on your Instagram really quick because I loved oh, it just, it's right here, it's so great.

Speaker 2: 1:00:45

So have you ever wanted to explore Tantra but you don't really want to sit on the lap of a stranger in a yurt? Have you wanted to explore Tantra, but the idea of the performative moaning from your neighbor makes you want to gag? Have you wanted to explore Tantra but you don't really vibe with the culty eye gazing energy? I got you real talk, no BS. Tantra, one-on-one, remixed with a dash of dark, and there were a couple of other ones that I saw where you talked about that there's some. There's like a lot of these male partners of women that are coming to you, are like I'm just not into the crystals and the like weird eye gazing and all of this stuff. So I really loved that you put this out because there's obviously, as we started this conversation, so much power in getting back into our bodies. That affects us individually and the collective, um, but a lot of people aren't tapping into it because it's weird for some people.

Speaker 2: 1:01:41

So can you talk about more like what you're teaching in this. Why, what people could expect? Yeah, I love that, I loved that post.

Speaker 1: 1:02:02

I'm so glad yeah, I mean I literally put I loved that post, spaces I look at, even for me, and I can handle a certain amount of new age, you know stuff, and I'm like this is a lot for me. And so then I think about a lot of the people I work with, and them as well, because they're also like, not into too much of the fluffy fluff, and especially their partners are even less so into the fluffy fluff. And so I was like all right, how can I? Because I have always in the past been a bridge between two different worlds.

Speaker 1: 1:02:39

And so I've created, you know my previous, the modality that I created called embody, where I trained over 60 teachers, and that's embodiment facilitation. It's a particular class that drops people through other archetypes, which we didn't even get to today. But that class also was created from this motivation where I was going to ecstatic dance and five rhythms and sensual pole dancing and was like, oh, I want to create, I want to take the most beautiful things out of here and give them to the person who would never go to these places. And so Tantra Remixed was the same thing. It's like okay, I'm going to take the basics of Neo Tantra.

Speaker 1: 1:03:15

I'm going to remix it my way, so it's a little bit more down to earth, there's no light and love you know, we're just getting right down to like here is why this works, and let's all have better sex as a result of it, and so I do think that this is a gap in the marketplace. I think that people want to learn about deeper, more sacred intimate sex, without necessarily becoming part of what feels like a very leaky, energy subculti world that can be really overwhelming and scary, um, and sometimes outright dangerous for certain people.

Speaker 2: 1:03:57

Okay. So if somebody wants to jump into that, where do they find you?

Speaker 1: 1:04:01

Ooh, so that is Nadia Munlacom. Forward slash Tantra remixed. One word Okay, great, and we'll put your.

Speaker 2: 1:04:10

Instagram handle and everything. All in the show notes. Is there anything else that we haven't talked about yet, that your heart or your mind is like wanting?

Speaker 1: 1:04:22

I think that if you're just feeling like you're going through the motions and everything kind of looks good on paper or looks like a B plus on paper, I really want to be here to champion Like it can be even better. It can be. The mundane can become magical. Everything can feel fucking great.

Speaker 1: 1:04:47

I'm not saying that you'll always be in the chapter of summer and joy. No, you will go through the four seasons, you will be cyclical, you will have periods of void and death, you will have periods of pure bliss and ecstasy, all of the above. But there's a way in which you can experience all of life where you just feel more present and alive and in that erotic pulse. Working with that erotic pulse and in that erotic pulse, working with that erotic pulse, and I feel I mean that's really the fire, right. That keeps me going every day is that we all can be more erotically alive. And there's many different ways we can do that, which is why I have different offerings and why we talk about different things, and it's going to depend on your story, but I want people listening to know that it is 100% possible and to not go into. Well, I guess it's good enough, is it? And sometimes it is, but you know, just think about it.

Speaker 2: 1:05:42

That's so good. That's a great place to end, I think. Thank you so much for your time and thank you for your work and for continuing to boldly share your heart. Just how we connected is just so. You know. You shared with me that and I feel this sometimes too. It's like are people going to think I'm crazy? You know, sometimes you get online and you're feeling the feels, but I heard somebody else say recently that as we continue to move forward in society, the true influencers are going to be the people that are embodying truth, so that when they speak, it influences, and to me, that's what you're doing, so thank you for that.

Speaker 1: 1:06:24

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, yeah.