Speaker 1: 0:00

What I see people struggling with the most, like with eight high personalities or achievers, and like wanting to grow themselves. It's like the harder spectrum to deal with is when you're not feeling okay, when you're feeling sad, when you're feeling angry, when you're feeling frustrated, because those are the emotions we tend to repress. But it's like trying to go through life and be like I only want to see orange and green. All the things that you value and see are beautiful, include blue and all the other colors. It's a spectrum, and so the skill is no matter what spectrum in life you're relating to at this present moment. Can you condition your system to do this, to open through the hard, through the awesome and everything in between? That's the skill.

Speaker 2: 0:45

Welcome to the Whole Shebang.

Speaker 1: 0:47

I'm Jen Briggs, your host.

Speaker 2: 0:48

Let me tell you what you're in for here. Many of us have been running at breakneck speed, functioning mostly in our heads, and we've suffered from disconnection, burnout and lost passions. I believe it's because we functioned in part and not in whole. So we're exploring a new path, embracing intuition, creativity, playfulness, and not in whole. So we're exploring a new path, embracing intuition, creativity, playfulness and connection in all of life. It's vibrant, powerful and magnetic. So come on with me and buckle up buttercups. We're diving in. Are you at home? Are you sitting in your car? I want to encourage you to enjoy this conversation the same way you would if we were all together in the same room. Grab your cup of coffee or your tea, or if in your car, roll the windows down if it's warm. Enjoy this conversation.

Speaker 2: 1:35

Tiago and I dive into a lot of really great stuff, but one of the things I also love about this particular conversation is that there's a lot of really practical takeaways that he dives into and shares from his work. So what are you going to hear about today? We talk about authenticity and how it's a moving target, how we're always evolving and how we get to co-create our lives to the choices and actions that we make, so we dive into manifestation, but he takes on a different angle and how we actually train our bodies to be able to inhale, exhale and live in that pause, that's in between those two things, what it feels like in that waiting period before the new thing is arriving, and how to actually wire our bodies and our nervous systems to be able to move through change. So we talk about the magic and all of that, how to open to life and so much more. As always, let me tell you about Tiago. He is an adventurer, a breathwork facilitator and life coach. For the last nine years he's traveled worldwide, working with and being mentored by top leaders in the personal growth field, and now he's on a mission to share the best of what he's learned to empower people to manifest their dream lives.

Speaker 2: 2:50

Most of us are taught that leading an authentic, fulfilling life requires sacrificing or compromising. Tiago believes that thriving in all areas of our lives is an inside-out process, meaning that as we release the unconscious nervous system patterns that hold us back and embody in every fiber of our being what it is that we want to experience, our life will reflect that back to us. It's a powerful one. This is a leap of faith kind of episode where we talk about what it feels like to live a leap of faith. All right, loves, enjoy.

Speaker 2: 3:27

Tiago I am so excited to have you here. Welcome to the whole shebang.

Speaker 1: 3:31

Thank you. I'm so excited for this. Truly, it's been a few months coming.

Speaker 2: 3:36

So why don't we give the listeners just a little bit of background on who you are, what your work is and how you got here?

Speaker 1: 3:43

So I, I'm a breathwork facilitator and life coach. I love adventure and outdoors, and my journey into the personal growth and spirituality field started as a client, honestly, where at a point in my life after college or after dropping out of college, I have no idea what I wanted to do and had, even more importantly, no idea who I was. And thankfully, the magic of life, the universe brought me some random YouTube videos where I just found personal growth and that it was even a concept to transform my life and live the life that I really want, versus a life that was predetermined for me, with them and being mentored by them on just how to live a life that's authentic and congruent and to lead it from a place of sincerity and rawness and vulnerability. And, my God, has it been a journey. I'll pause there because we have so many pieces to jump into, but I started out as a client and now I get to share this with people, which I'm very excited for. Oh, it's so powerful.

Speaker 2: 5:08

I just I love, as a reflection, how I mean maybe it's because I personally identify with this too just that deep dive into learning, like, oh there's a thing here, whew, here we go.

Speaker 2: 5:16

So when you said you started out with figuring out who you were, I think a lot of us well, I can't speak for everybody in the world, but even as myself, like 40 years old a couple of years ago and hit the hit, this point of maybe the classic midlife I'm going to call it chrysalis, but who am I? I've been running on autopilot or I've been maybe compromising myself, doing the things that I thought I should do, based on the like you go to school, you get married, you buy a house, you have the kids, you do the things that society tells us we should do, or a version of that, maybe, but had to pause and go. Actually, who am I? And so I love that you pinpointed that and I'd love to hear what that journey was for you and how you found your quote unquote authentic self and like how you found your quote unquote authentic self.

Speaker 1: 6:06

Yeah, what a beautiful question. Like I love this question because it's also like it opens up a beautiful conversation, which is the fact that it is a moving target. We're evolving beings. Like it's not to me, so I'll definitely speak about my experience. Like, to me, it has felt like a moving target. I'm always evolving and expanding as a being and finding new parts of myself.

Speaker 1: 6:30

To me, where it really really began was having the vulnerability and, honestly, the guidance and the mentorship of people inspiring me to, instead of looking at external circumstances in my life that I would like to change a relationship, work, a lifestyle, place where I live, like whatever it is, instead of looking at it from like this thing that I want to change outside. What can I do? What goals can I achieve? What's my plan? To have that for sure, if it's valuable, but to begin to hold up a mirror to myself and to look at if I approach this from what I feel is a really empowering perspective, which is I'm creating my life. Like the remembrance of, we are co-creating our life 100% of the time.

Speaker 1: 7:19

Who am I being? In every cell, every atom of my body that is creating my current reality. What is my life reflecting back to me? That I get to expand, to heal the process, to evolve, to be in a process of metamorphosis, rather than just trying to get the external to change, to do both. Does that make sense? Because usually that's where people I've seen in this work, people like, go into a rat wheel of the personal development carousel forever and forever, because they're either like doing all the internal shadow work that's really hard and like looking within but never actually enjoying life and going out out into the world and manif their dream life, or they're going out and creating the magic business, like whatever it is that they want, the magic relationship, but they never address the internal patterns that will perpetuate things that are not aligned for them and it creates this cognitive dissonance. So to me it was a journey of like learning through mentors how to do both at the same time.

Speaker 2: 8:27

That's so powerful. So, when you were looking at who you were being was well, I have so many questions. Okay, so you start. You were like, oh my gosh, this, there's this whole world of personal growth and development. I'm going to stop and ask who am I being and what life is that creating? I'm imagining that there's a bit of a crossroads correct me if I'm wrong but a point where you were like, oh, I was being this and in order for me to live the life I want to, I have to be somebody different. Who, who were those two versions? Or like what did you discover the old you? Who was he and how did you discover who he wanted to become or who did he want to become?

Speaker 1: 9:07

Yeah, I, I spent most of my teenage years and like early childhood, like dreaming about becoming an astronaut and going to like all these conferences and things, um, and it was like a like almost like a preset goal that I always thought like I wanted and I got a lot of like. I was rewarded a lot for being like a good boy, for like falling in line and being a good student and having like a lofty goal to shoot for and having things like figured out. And it was at that time where I dropped out of college studying theoretical physics and be like this is as close as I've been to this world that I think I love so much and I hate everything about it. It's not who I am. It felt like being on the edge of a cliff where, like behind me is everything I've ever known In front of me is what I know to be next Like next step in life is like it's definitely in that direction, but I have no idea what's out there. And it was in taking that leap of faith into pure unknown that I started to realize that for me in my journey, the biggest thing is where am I being, who I thought I should be or who I was conditioned to be, or who other people need me to be to meet their expectations, versus where am I going on the greatest adventure I think I can ever go on in life, which is to just be me and to be authentic, and whatever that means.

Speaker 1: 10:49

That could be like where am I burning myself out in work? And I'm actually using real examples for my life, like where am I burning myself out in work? Where actually, like, I want to spend a lot of time in nature and be 10 times more productive. That's how I operate, right. Where am I being in a relationship that doesn't really serve me, because I'm terrified of holding boundaries, like all those little things they show up in life, but the core of it to me, every single time has been like getting to an edge, like I don't know what relationships, I don't know what work, I don't know what lifestyle, I don't know what being looks like beyond this point. But I'm going to freaking, figure it out, I'm going to leap into it and that's where, to me, that's the beginning of the work.

Speaker 2: 11:33

How did you know that the leap was the next thing? Like, was there a feeling or a thought or a guidance? Like, how did you know, especially when it's into the unknown, what? How did you have enough faith or insight to go?

Speaker 1: 11:48

To me it has always like life has always planted a seed of the next step. It was like I dropped out of college and within a couple of weeks I watched this like random YouTube video of a huge personal development event, like one of the biggest names out there and apparently he does events all over all over the world and had one coming up in London. Like I live in Portugal, I'm Portuguese, and that was like as close as it could get and I was like I gotta go. So it's always been like that, like a program, a mentor, an event shows up and it costs more than I can afford, it's further than I think I could have gotten, like there's always something like of a barrier to overcome, to remind myself that it's possible, and that's what I see with people as well. It's life puts a weight that's slightly heavier than we're used to lifting, to remind us.

Speaker 2: 12:43

Bravo. I mean I'm identifying with these points that it does. I like how you described it, that it's this cliff, because it's like there's this sense of security and obviously in what we know. So there's all this history of the known and everything that's behind us. And then we're standing at an edge and there's something. There's something in us that's propelling us to jump into an abyss just and trust it. But then I think and I'd love to hear from your experience like, but then you have these experiences and you look back and you go, oh, now I also know I can trust it because I have a previous track record of jumps that I've made and it's turned out the way it should because of all these synchronicities or all you know the fruit that's come as a result, and I'm assuming that's been your experience. Now you have a litany of adventures behind you that have proven that track record. Is that right?

Speaker 1: 13:37

100% and I'll be the first one to say like it doesn't get less exciting or less scary, it just you get more brave, you get more resource. Um, like, for example, for me, like that first one, I watched the video and I was like I want to go to this event, like I want to get a mentor, like I, because it was all about like mentorship and all these things and I was like that's what I want. Like I want someone who can guide me, because I have no idea where to even begin. No one in my family is into this stuff. Like where do I begin? And so I went to the website and the event was like three times the amount of money I had in my bank account. It was like an 18 year old and I was like, damn, I can't afford this. But screw it. Like right then. And there I booked a plane ticket and like the crappiest hostel three hours away from the venue, and I said I'm definitely not going to infiltrate this event because, one, it's not possible and two, it's against my values. But I'll just hang out like beginning of the day and end of the day and I'll network. I'll try to meet people. And so I went to London, sleeping in this random ass hostel with a homeless person on the bed in front of me, like shared bathrooms, like the whole adventure, like moving back and forth. But it was every morning, especially on day one, like seeing the energy and the eyes of people going in and then, at the end of the day, seeing, like the essence of what it means to be human come out from people, whatever that means to them. Does that make sense? Like different for everyone, and that to me was like wow. But technically I fail at my goal because I didn't attend the event. I didn't meet anyone, but then I saved up enough money to actually go to his event in Dallas.

Speaker 1: 15:24

Six months later, I'm at the event, participating, having the time of my life, and someone tells me hey, did you know? There's a Portuguese person working at the event. And I'm like what do you mean? They're like you got to meet him. I go, I meet him. We really connect. A couple of months later, we're having dinner in Portugal. He becomes my first mentor. Did my coaching certification with him? Learned to coach with him? Like this is like 2016. Had I not made a completely senseless decision to book a random flight to London to hang out before and after an event. I would have never met a Portuguese guy. He's from Portugal, but it's like life sometimes guides us in ways that we cannot predict.

Speaker 2: 16:08

Yeah, oh, it's so beautiful. I love that. And such an encouragement for people to also for us all to remember that life is an adventure to your point of like we can. We can go out and achieve these things and work really hard. And also, what about the part of an enjoying life and seeing it as this, like what is an adventure? Except to go, wow, we don't know where the next bend is going to take us, but we're going to go on it. It's great, okay, so I want to dive into manifestation with you. Tell me I don't know, I got like four hours. How much let's go.

Speaker 2: 16:44

Yeah, I think most people that are listening have a concept around what manifestation is and I think, even if they're not as comfortable with this, what I would call woo woo lovingly. You know this idea of manifestation a lot of what I've been reading and working with our quantum physics and you, now that I understand that, you can appreciate probably the physics element of all of this too. Like, maybe just a basic like what is manifestation to you and why is it important? And then we'll get into the how.

Speaker 1: 17:14

Yeah, love it. So my, my approach to manifestation and I'm by by that I mean even my own experience learning about it it has been, I would say, more leaning towards the grounded side of it, and definitely I'm a very spiritual person. But, as you're learning, my background is engineering and physics and maths. That's what I grew up around, so I'm always questioning things that don't feel grounded enough to me. That's part of my role. It's like how can I ground things that can like a little bit like wow, like super expansive to experience?

Speaker 1: 17:49

And to me, what I've learned like if I can just sum it all up in a package is it comes down to three core skills, and this is why I love breathwork, and metaphorically it's expanding and learning frameworks and practicing our capacity to breathe things in, to attract, to call things in Whatever it is. I want more income, I want my ideal relationship, I want my ideal job. It's like bringing it into life. And then I'm going to explain how this actually integrates with our nervous system and why that's a relevant piece. The other piece is, metaphorically, has to do with exhale, letting things go. This is a balance that a lot of people have very powerful life experience, understanding that it can be really hard to attract and keep what we want if we're not equally skilled at letting go of what is not aligned. It creates cognitive dissonance in our system, right, I'm just like feeling this, because it's so we.

Speaker 2: 19:01

We tend to, I think, hold on to things out of fear of of what again? But if we are holding on, we don't have even have room right To hold the new. Yeah, Ooh, I like that, that's so good. Okay, those are one, two, and did you have a third one?

Speaker 1: 19:17

Yeah, like our system like is pulling in two different directions, that we don't have the two, and the third one is simply the in-betweens being skilled at holding that space before the new thing comes in.

Speaker 1: 19:29

It's like, and you're holding there's a pause between inhale and exhale, holding that space. After you've let go there's an emptiness, there's a period of void where the new thing hasn't come in yet and that is a skill. And if you go to nature, it's like you have seasons, like it's not summer, winter, like there's an in-between. So those in-betweens are huge and again, we're talking metaphors. Doing this in our nervous system is what I found to be the biggest key to manifest because everything in our life is a reflection, as if we were a projector, like projecting like a movie out into life. It's a reflection of our inner state, of our nervous system, like any experience that we had in life, built up an identity and nervous system and conscious patterns where we are relating to life in a way that reflects back to us who we believe ourselves to be, what we believe ourselves to deserve, what we believe to be familiar and okay and acceptable, like whatever our standards are, are unconsciously being reflected right at us our standards are are unconsciously being reflected right at us.

Speaker 2: 20:48

I'm taking all of the notes on this, Tiago, Sorry, I'm like hold on, hold on. Can you talk slower? Go back, because this is so good. Can we use an example? Let's use money. I think that's a common one for people. So people want to draw in more money. You know you're coaching me and you're like where do we start with that? Then I want to manifest more abundance, specifically through money in my life.

Speaker 1: 21:10

Yeah. So to me it always comes back to definitely, let's spend some time understanding what is the origin of whatever identity is running us in this present moment in terms of money and I'll give a metaphor that is like slightly like parallel, even though it doesn't have directly to do with money, but we can expand it to money, for example, let's say this is to clarify what I mean by identity, because it's the strongest force in the universe, it's the number one thing running our lives is whatever we believe ourselves to be, whoever we believe ourselves to be. Something completely new that we want to manifest can come into our life and it goes away in a second because we haven't fully rooted and integrated into a new identity. What do I mean by that? Let's say there's a kid and he or she is in class, makes a beautiful drawing and they're like call it seven years old, and the teacher looks at the drawing is like that sucks. That's horrible. As a kid you don't have the capacity to process that. The teacher might have had a bad day, whatever might be going on with them they might just be frustrated has nothing to do with you. So very, very long story short how our nervous system interprets things going up If we don't have the space and the safety to process whatever emotion came up in that moment.

Speaker 1: 22:32

You might be angry at the teacher, you might be sad, you might be frustrated, whatever the emotion is. Kids emote freely up to a certain point where they start getting conditioned. What it means to start getting conditioned is there's no safety anymore to feel and so you need to start repressing and suppressing those emotions. So let's call it that. In that moment the kid felt sad because, like the drawing wasn't approved or validated their effort, they didn't feel seen, they didn't have the safety to feel. That emotion all of a sudden, an emotion that could be felt in 30 seconds, becomes a part of our identity and I'm sad, becomes I suck at drawing.

Speaker 1: 23:12

And you sum up all these experiences again. It's never about the money, it's about I'm not worthy of being seen, I'm not worthy of being successful, I'm not worthy of having time, I'm not worthy of being fulfilled. I'm not. I have to suck it up, I have to sacrifice. So it's like whatever it is in life that we want to manifest, there's like a bunch of things around it that our nervous system has been using this one thing, so we don't actually have to look at the real thing, which is what are the emotions I haven't processed, what are the feelings and the experiences From my past that are stored up in my body, where my nervous system is really putting up shields To money, because it doesn't have anything to do with money. I'm putting up shields to being vulnerable, to being seen, to the things required to attract more money.

Speaker 2: 24:07

Yes, this is so good. Okay, so then you start pinpointing what those things are and you do what? Recalibrate your nervous system. You start working with your nervous system to be able to handle processing those emotions, yeah A lot of these are unconscious patterns.

Speaker 1: 24:27

So absolutely like 99% of it is not like it's, it's not even conversational, it's let's lay on the ground and breathe, because this is not conscious, so having a conscious conversation about it will only take us so far. This is literally where, by using certain breathing techniques and somatic work, you can access the parts of the brain that are storing those like that bound up energy, those unprocessed, repressed experiences, and they arise. They come up Now, check this out. They come up now in a safe environment so that you can finally process them. The key is safety is, if you have that safe environment, you finally get to process and feel the things that you didn't get to feel before and all of a sudden, like you don't need the shields anymore because they're safety. You see how it's like. It feels like going around the money thing, but it's actually resolving it for real.

Speaker 2: 25:26

Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. So now take me down the next step. So then we're we're creating safe space to process those emotions, and then, when you talked about manifesting, it's about breathing it into the nervous system. Is that the next piece then?

Speaker 1: 25:41

Yeah. So as you, as you create more and more space in your nervous system, to me that is the perfect opportunity to then start bringing in all the things that everyone talks about in terms of manifestation. Let's visualize what it is that we want, let's feel it, let's experience it, let's write a vision for it. Let's get clear on our purpose, our values. What is important to us because from that place one from the inside out, like your nervous system is open and available to it and also from the inside, in the type of vision you get is different because you're a different version of you. So what it is that you think you want changes to a more aligned version.

Speaker 2: 26:21

Tiago, where have you been all my life?

Speaker 1: 26:23

I've been traveling.

Speaker 2: 26:28

I've been a world traveler, no, but seriously, this is you know, I've done manifestation work, I've done some like light hypnosis. I've done some Joe Dispenza things, some like light hypnosis. I've done some Joe Dispenza things and I've heard about it more from the concept of rewiring, you know, our subconscious brain. But then the part that I haven't heard about that makes so much sense to me is the emotional blocks and creating safe space so that we can get to the other part.

Speaker 1: 26:57

So that piece makes so much sense in my mind and in my body yeah, yeah, and like the experientially like, just to kind of like paint a picture of what. How does it feel different, like what's the difference in your day-to-day life to have that integration is all of a sudden it's like whatever it is that you want to manifest effortlessly. Again, I'm not saying that the process to get there is effortless, especially because, like for a lot of people, processing bound up emotions means resolving really deep trauma. So, like life is messy, like life is really difficult sometimes and unfair. So there's a whole side of it that I think is unaddressed sometimes, a lot which is the reality of what life looks like.

Speaker 1: 27:47

At some points it's really hard and challenging sometimes, but to paint a picture of the outcome, what it looks like is whatever it is that you want as your vision becomes your experience of life, not just like the house, but the abundance around it, the ease, not just the money, but the time to enjoy the money. I can't tell you how many people I've met over the years who did build the dream business but are 10 times as busy, as stressed as they ever were. And so it's building the dream business to eventually, 40 years from now, have the time in the retirement. It's the same as having the job they didn't like. That eventually inspired them to build a business. So it's really important to really get real about what people want, because it's different for everyone.

Speaker 2: 28:42

Yeah, so, oh, that's so good. I mean, it's this never-ending cycle. Right To have that. To come back to that clarity of who are we, who are we evolving to be? What are the values that are surfacing? Excuse me, what are the values that are surfacing? And in this process, I would like to talk about the letting go. If we could go into that a little bit further. I've been rereading bits and pieces of Women who Run With the Wolves. Have you read that, by any chance?

Speaker 1: 29:13

I heard about that book. It's on my list. I have to order it.

Speaker 2: 29:17

Yeah, it's a powerful one, but the life, death life cycle is one that is, you know, woven throughout and this idea of, in order for anything to be birthed, anything new to come, something has to die, something has to be shed. So that's you've referenced, like the cyclical, seasonal nature that we have and how nature exemplifies that. But coming back to that, like letting go piece, tell me what you see in the people you work with or in your life Like. What is that process like?

Speaker 1: 29:49

Yeah, for a lot of people it's the hardest part, and I'll explain why. Our identity is literally one of the strongest forces running our life and, for some reason which, to be honest, I don't know I don't know if I need to know but I've observed that for most people and for myself, it tends to be easier to attract the new thing because it doesn't necessarily require you to let go of who you were or let go of the old thing. And letting go damn, it's the ultimate surrender. It's the ultimate surrender because it's never again. We're not talking about like I had this like watch that I kind of liked and it broke and it's time for me to get a new one. It's the type of manifestation letting go we're talking about. It's never like that. It's the relationship that you really thought were going to work and it's time to let it go. It's the house that you thought you were going to work and it's time to let it go. It's the house that you thought you were going to create a life in and all of a sudden, it's not working anymore, for some reason. It's the job that you've always dreamed of and all of a sudden, boom, it imploded and it doesn't work.

Speaker 1: 31:15

It's usually big, whatever big means for people, and I have found that it doesn't really serve to try to make it pretty. It serves to speak to its purpose, because it can often be difficult. Its purpose is to build faith. It's called the leap of faith, it's not called the leap of certainty. So those are. I have found and experienced and seen that it is in those situations that you clear and process and let go of a lot of stuff. That is precisely what you need to go through in order to step into a new phase of life. But it only really clicks after you've gone through it and that's where you start building a bank account of trust in yourself, because you can look back and see like, wow, I overcame that, I let that go and I was fine, I was okay. That is the purpose. It's to remind us that not only we can, but that we're on track, that we're being guided to build that trust, that if we know in our heart that we need to let go of something, it's time.

Speaker 2: 32:35

And then I think that's the question too, like how long do I hold on once I know it's time to let go? I mean, that's another. That's the question too how long do I hold on once I know it's time to let go? I mean, that's another part of that. But I love this analogy of breathing because I identify with that. Okay, I'm going to exhale, I'm going to let this thing go, I'm going to take a leap, and every time I'm sort of in one of those right now, as I'm launching an additional new business and moving six of six months out of my what felt like certainty in a corporatist environment and let that go in a leap of faith. And there's been a pause. There's been this like holding and I'm starting to feel the inhale happen just on the front edge of it. But the but, the pause is like scary when you're like when's that breath going to come in?

Speaker 1: 33:27

Right, I found that it's often the piece that most people who are into personal growth and spirituality, that's the key. To me, that's always been the key, like to most people, has always been the key, because if you're into this kind of thing, it will most likely, most likely in general I'm totally generalizing it uh, be easier for you to get the new thing, because that's what got you started, like you wanted something different, but to let go, especially when the thing you're letting go is something that you've manifested, that, like three, four, five years ago, was the dream and now you're just moving on from it. Um, it is a leap of faith.

Speaker 2: 34:10

Do you have common um like if somebody was to say well, how do I know if I should let go? Do you have common themes that you see in people or ways that intuition speaks, or you know, I've, I've, it's taken me a while. I feel like to get more comfortable with knowing what my intuition sounds like and feels like, or and I think we talked about this a little bit on the trip, about the different kinds of knowing Can you speak to that a little bit?

Speaker 1: 34:43

Yeah. So one of my favorite people in the world Karen and Chris that we were at the retreat at they were hosting, they once shared with me. I was myself at one of those periods of like transition and they once shared with me something that will stick with me forever. Forever, which is the number one thing about intuition in these periods in life is that you can't get it wrong. It's impossible, like if something is meant for you and you don't get it right away, like it will show up in a different way. If something is not meant to be in your life and you don't let it go today, it will, like a new circumstance will show up in a different way. If something is not meant to be in your life and you don't let it go today, it will like a new circumstance will show up tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, for you to be able to let it go. It is impossible, impossible, especially if you're on a path of growth, and the moment I hear them say that I just feel my whole system be like. That in itself is the exhale. It's, it's the remembrance to be at ease in it. Not that it's easy, but life.

Speaker 1: 35:51

Life is a spectrum. You know what I mean. It's like like life is messy. Like you clean the house two months, like two weeks later there's like hairs in the drain, like like there's dust, like it's it's life. It's a Like like there's dust, like it's it's life. It's a life, you know. Like you change diapers, like it's it's life.

Speaker 1: 36:05

And to me it's like the full spectrum, like what I see people struggling with the most, like with eight high personalities or achievers and like wanting to grow themselves. It's like the harder spectrum to deal with is when you're not feeling okay, when you're feeling sad, when you're feeling angry, when you're feeling frustrated, because those are the emotions we tend to repress. But it's like trying to go through life and be like I only want to see orange and green. All the things that you value and see are beautiful, include blue and all the other colors. It's a spectrum spectrum, and so the skill is no matter what spectrum in life you're relating to at this present moment, can you condition your system to do this, to open through the hard, through the awesome and everything in between. That's the skill to to relax, to be, to engage with so good.

Speaker 2: 37:07

This is so good. Okay, how do we train our system to be able to open in the moments that are giving us colors that we don't prefer?

Speaker 1: 37:15

It's literally like like, how do you practice for, like self-defense, for example, like if something ever happens? It's like you go to a safe environment where it's safe to practice skills that have consequence and you just get to work. So it's like whatever it looks like. Some people resonate with breathwork, some don't, some people like whatever. But my recommendation of the one thing that I'll say is I've seen somatic stuff, like whatever form of thing that is in the body. It's not the mind. It can be dance, it can be movement, but it's not about the mind.

Speaker 1: 37:53

Something that gets you in your body, where, in a safe space where there's no consequence, you're not going to lose the job if you cry in this moment, you're not going to lose the job. If you cry in this moment, you're not going to like lose the relationship If you express whatever it needs to be expressed through emotion, through through sounds, through movement. And it's in getting in your body and letting your body release and process whatever it is. That's where the work happens, because what it means to close in life is our. So the opposite just to give a contrast is that our nervous system has like fight, flight, freeze, fawn in terms of, like natural, adaptive responses.

Speaker 1: 38:34

What it means to close to life is to respond in a way that's not appropriate. In a way that's not appropriate, it's I'm feeling hurt and I should actually be like opening up, but instead I go into an unhealthy fight, response and push someone away. So that's what it means to close. What it means to open and practice. To open is, as you're breathing in a safe environment, when that same emotion comes up, to actually practice, to feel it, to let it come, to make the sound, to breathe, to cry, to laugh, to celebrate, whatever, like the full spectrum, and it's just like anything else, like as you practice more of that in an environment that's safe and low consequence all of a sudden you find yourself in the same situation and you're being vulnerable instead of like pushing someone away because you just practice Like it's literally like anything else in life. It becomes a default.

Speaker 2: 39:31

This is so good. I just thinking about the when was it that I had this? What felt like to me, this huge aha that like the freedom is found in our body, and just having lived so much of my life in my head and in the masculine and and realizing how much freedom is found in and through the body, whether it's spiritually or energetically, but also in freeing up where the blockages have been. They aren't just mental constructs, they are actual energetic blocks in our body and and come. I love that you're pulling all of this together in the work that you're doing and in this conversation, because it's just such a good, pointy reminder that it doesn't seem like a connection, I think, for a lot of people, right, unless we're connecting the dots like this to go okay.

Speaker 2: 40:18

Why is it important for me to feel my feelings? In order for me to manifest the thing, or in order for me to enjoy my actual work that I'm working? Because when we're closed, we can't receive in life, we can't fully feel. So maybe we're experiencing less pain, but I'd argue that I don't even know if that's the case. We're just experiencing a different kind of pain. When we're in closure, we're protecting our vulnerabilities, but then we're creating some more pain right, but then we're also not able to have that level of pleasure in every facet of life. So it seems, I think, counterintuitive right to a lot of people who are so used to solving problems in our mind to solve the problem through the body, and I freaking love that you're talking about it and doing the work, can I?

Speaker 2: 41:09

just say like, especially as a man, is that like okay to say?

Speaker 1: 41:15

I resonate with that a lot, like both of those pieces, because my entire life was in my culture, like the environment I grew up in, my friends, high school, college, like everything about it was mental, and especially men tend to be very mental. I'm obviously generalizing big time so, yeah, like I've run up against every one of those blocks and so many more of being like what do you mean? Like, what do you mean? Emotions, what, like, what do you mean? And yeah, to me it's always about results, like again, like it's about taking something that might be a little bit like airy fairy, like emotions, like what? What does this mean? How is this related to me actually achieving something that I want? And actually, okay, let's ground it, let's ground it. What does it mean to achieve that you want? You're only looking after an experience in your nervous system and experience of ease and homeostasis that you believe you're going to get by changing your circumstances, but you're going to be the same person in a different place.

Speaker 2: 42:24

That's so big, yeah, so how do we change who we are, which is what you're doing? One of the things I want, I would love to hear you talk about um is the sort of pull that you had to be in nature and from a really um. Let's just start with that. Why, why, nature?

Speaker 1: 42:43

Wow.

Speaker 2: 42:45

Then I have other peripheral questions Wow.

Speaker 1: 42:49

Oh my God, you're so good at this. I, oh my God, I love this question. So for me, one of the very first questions you asked me was like what did I learn that I was not, and like who am I becoming? Like? One of the very first questions you asked me is like what did I learn that I was not? And like who am I becoming? Like one of the big? So again, totally speaking to me, this is not like an end result for everyone. This is end result for Tiago.

Speaker 1: 43:11

Like I'm learning, especially over the last couple of years, that I really am like almost like a wild animal who tends to interact in the human plane for a couple of like hours a day, but I I need to spend time in nature.

Speaker 1: 43:26

I need to like be barefoot and muddy and climb and surf and hike and camp and like to me, that is my essence and why nature, honestly, it's.

Speaker 1: 43:37

To me, the experience has been like thank god for nature, because I grew up completely disconnected from it and it was such a big metaphor for me of I never even thought to look for it To look for.

Speaker 1: 43:52

Like I'm feeling a little bit uneasy or out of alignment, like it's like do I need to work harder, like I never even thought that maybe I just need to go do what I did a couple of hours ago, which is lay on the grass and look at like the clouds, and to actually get to live a life where I have time to do that as much as I want to me, even like a couple of weeks ago I was camping solo in the middle of nature, and it always slows things down. To me, nature breathes and pulses more in sync with the rhythm of our hearts, which is way slower and way deeper, um, and to me there's a remembrance in nature of who I am meant to be, who we were born to be and how we were born to treat and interact with each other. And it's a lot slower, a lot deeper, a lot kinder than the more like erotic, chaotic pace of the mind that we tend to have a lot in the culture to as much nature time as possible.

Speaker 2: 45:00

That's beautiful, yeah, and so one of the things I wanted to ask you about, just on a practical level, you know, what I'm delving into right now is really helping um, primarily women, but men to reintegrate some of these aspects, whether it's somatic practices or time with nature, or creativity, sensuality practices, or time with nature, or creativity, sensuality, and actually bringing that whole person into the business world, and rethinking how we can do business differently, how, whether we're creating new models or whether we're just showing up differently in the models and systems that are there, so that we can bring some change, because my belief is that the way that we've been doing work isn't working and and we need to change that. And so you've mentioned just a couple of practical things I would love to hear from you how do you bring who you are into your work and how has it changed any any aspect of how you're working or what you're doing there?

Speaker 1: 46:01

Jen, you are so awesome at this and clearly, clearly, clearly, um, like I would love to one day hear, like your whole story of how you ended up doing this Cause. Every single thing that you're saying feels like damn, like your life brought you to this moment to be doing what you're doing. That's amazing. You're the perfect person to be doing that, thank you, thank you, um, like I, it's no different and it's funny because over the last like nine years, what I've been doing with mentors is actually like support them with their business as I develop my skills of breathwork and all of that like it's been parallel, um, and the number one thing I've seen is that it's been parallel Um, and the number one thing I've seen is that it's actually no different.

Speaker 1: 46:48

It's about whatever business people are into, especially if you're an entrepreneur. It's can the vision and the goals and the projects and the plans of the business follow and align with your purpose, your values, your vision for your life. And the number one and this is like tough love, tiago coming out the number one thing that I love to look people in the eye and really challenge them on is that you don't have to sacrifice or compromise. To me, the greatest breakthrough over the last couple of years and how I bring this to work is I have started to prioritize nature time and rock climbing and time with my friends and family more than I ever have in my life, and I have never been more productive and I'm probably working no exaggeration half of what I used to.

Speaker 2: 47:50

Okay, wait, pause there. Let's reiterate that. Okay, so you're spending more time in nature, why do you think? And it's causing you to be more productive in your work? Okay, why do you think that is?

Speaker 1: 48:09

work. Okay, why do you think that is A lot of it. I think it has to do with how I'm wired and the type of work that I do. So full disclosure there. Like if my work is like like more linear, where, like, I need to perform the same number of tasks and they record the same number, like the same amount of time. I would imagine this wouldn't be the case as much. But my work is creative, it's problem solving. It's so whether I'm working with someone and integrating and doing embodiment work with their nervous system, or I'm working with a mentor and helping them drive projects forward for their business, it's never about how much time I'm working. It's always about what's the end result.

Speaker 1: 48:47

And what I've discovered is that for most people, especially if you feel like you have a gift to share with the world, the gift is you. The gift is your experience. So the more you're living in the energy of who you are, the more energy you bring to a moment. So in that hour, for example, you can create results that could take you a less aligned version of you like three hours to figure out. So it's very simple. It's, I think, clearer when I go on a hike. I am calmer when I climb. I am more relaxed and focused and present when I do all these things. It's no different than if you want an intimate relationship to thrive, carve time out for yourself. If you lose yourself in the other person, it's not going to thrive If you lose yourself in business. Most entrepreneurs are creating a dream business in the first place to be able to do the things that they.

Speaker 2: 49:47

Right. So have you had to have conversations with clients or colleagues or people so that you, as you're I'm assuming you're sort of setting boundaries around the time that you're spending in nature or the time that's really nourishing to you? How have you had those conversations or set those expectations with people, especially if it's not the norm in the working world?

Speaker 1: 50:08

yeah, and especially and I'm going to speak from my own experience, especially if you're a man and I one of the companies that I work with, it's a men's group and, like everyone is taipei achievers and like I want to be a taipei achiever like, like I want to perform, like I genuinely care, I want to show up at a higher level, I have high standards, and so it was honestly very uncomfortable for me to be like, starting now, I don't work Friday, saturday, sunday, ideally Thursday afternoon I don't work either, and it was very uncomfortable but thankfully, like I work with personal development companies, so it was uncomfortable for me because my perception and my conditioning of who I need to be, but the moment I say it, I get the privilege of being received with a hell, yes, right, because obviously people are excited for me to be more authentic.

Speaker 1: 51:02

So I get to be very privileged in that. Obviously I know of countless stories and spoken with god knows how many people where their boss is like there's no way, like all those things are way harder to navigate, but for me it was so well received and also then the results speak for themselves, to the point where, like I even had an episode like a couple, like a couple of months ago, where one of the one of the people I work with they were like trying to schedule a meeting for Friday and someone else proactively goes hey, no, that's not going to work because Tiago doesn't work on Friday, so let's do it next week. That's going to be better because, as as results get shown, it's like everyone gets excited. Yeah, let's all be more authentic. What can I do for you so you can show up more authentically?

Speaker 2: 51:50

That's so valuable. Yeah, it's making me think too of just like the peripheral, uh, the domino effect of what's happening Right and I've, as I'm thinking about, or sort of just like re-imagining how we work. That kind of thing is a good example of what it requires of everybody, which may mean I mean, I'm a fan of growth, obviously, because if we're not growing we're dying. But when it comes to a business, we're looking at what is the rate of growth that we're expecting, or how fast are we thinking we should move? And what do we even think? Fast looks like Does fast.

Speaker 2: 52:23

Look like I'm cramming in a meeting on a Friday afternoon when everybody's exhausted, because I'd rather get it done now than Monday morning, and then the meeting is ineffective and I think that's faster because we're going to hurry up and hold the meeting. But, like, it again seems just kind of silly to even have to draw that out. But it also might mean, hey, we're setting metrics that are high, that are causing us to stretch, but also that are not going to kill us in the process, Because why do we need to grow that fast? Why do we need to grow that large? But I kind of have this belief in me, maybe in my body that even by doing things this way, people will grow faster and maybe larger. Do you think that's true? You're nodding.

Speaker 1: 53:13

I again, that is not my expertise, but I am full disclosure, 100% feeling that I would be surprised if that's not the case. It actually accelerates growth.

Speaker 2: 53:27

Well, and it's honoring what it's honoring, sort of that natural cycle, or are that? We are nature and you don't? I can't remember who the quote is by, but this idea that, like nature, isn't rushed, everything comes in the right timing, and that that just like, or this other idea that besides, I guess squirrels do hoard, just even like, what is abundance and the giving and receiving and letting go that happens when a tree sheds its leaves and its fruit drops, it doesn't try to hold on to the fruit, it lets it go, and then and then more comes and bears in the right time. And so this I love to come back to that example of nature. When we look at how we're doing business and and at least just ask the question, like because we are of nature, we are that. And when we're trying to be anti, what is nature, what is natural to who we are, we do harm.

Speaker 2: 54:23

And I was thinking about the analogy the other day too. Just like what is nature? What is natural to who we are? We do harm. And I was thinking about the analogy the other day too. Just like what is healthy growth and what is unhealthy growth. Well, cancer is unhealthy growth, that's growth at a really really rapid rate, but it's a growth that destructs, and so what does that look like in our business? What does it look like? I don't know, you can tell, I'm in this phase of just like thinking through it, but I love that you are being an example of walking out what feels like a way of being that has breath, that has space in it, that allows rather than forces.

Speaker 1: 55:06

Yeah, it that allows rather than forces. Yeah, um, you're. Can I share a fun story from a couple of weeks ago? Like um, this is actually a couple months ago, because you just hit the nail on the head for me. Like the um, the whole thing about, like usually, personal growth, like there's a lot of hustle culture in the space of go go go, the time is always now. We need to do this now, take action.

Speaker 1: 55:31

All of that, especially to me as a man, that was very prevalent in the beginning and I just remember and this is a different answer of why nature for me I just remember as I started getting more and more into outdoor sports and things like that and I started surfing and I remember that, like my surfing teacher again, like my life is just like a whole succession of mentors teaching me the right things at the right time and I was really struggling, I was wasting so much energy like really overthinking it, and he keeps telling me like it's about intuition and it's about feeling, and I'm like how is this really masculine, rounded guy telling me about intuition and all this stuff, like in the middle of the damn ocean, and then it just clicks for me how it's. It's a dance of masculine and feminine in life. Yes, it's a beautiful skill to have the ability to be like the time is now, I'm gonna do it, like I'm gonna take action beautiful, solid skill. And then there's a skill of timing, of knowing that viscerally in my body. Again, this is not in my mind.

Speaker 1: 56:44

If I'm about to catch a wave and I just start paddling randomly but the wave is not here yet, I'm not going to get anywhere Anywhere. I'm going to go nowhere pretty fucking fast but I'm not going to like it's just going to be pointless. But if there's a wave coming and I'm in the right place at the right time because I took action to get there, it takes two or three paddles and I'm having the time of my life. And I remember these sorts of experiences were what began to crack the armor for me, because it was embodied of wow, I just produced a way better result with a lot less effort.

Speaker 2: 57:28

Just mic drop right there. It's so important, it's just so important. I shared something the other day about you can tell when we're sort of in an overdeveloped masculine, when we don't trust things that come with ease, because we have this belief, or it is part of our identity, that all success is a result of hustle and hard work, and there is that required. I know we both believe that that is required and there are times when that hard work may be a skill set, that is, preparation for catching the wave and when the wave comes I think this is the other part that I've seen in myself and in other people Like, are we ready to also receive that? Like, are we willing to receive the support of the natural rhythm of life and wave or whatever the manifestation is that's coming in, because we believe that what all the things you talked about earlier? Do we deserve it, or we should have worked for it, or can this really be real? Because, like, I'm so used to having to work so hard, I love, I love all this so much.

Speaker 2: 58:37

Tiago, one question I want. We're just about up on time. But one question I wanted to ask you. You've had a lot of mentors. You've mentioned some of the best in your life that have taught you a lot of things and I didn't prep you for this question, so feel free to take a minute if you need to think about it but what are the top lessons that you've learned from those mentors in your life?

Speaker 1: 58:59

I know exactly what the top lesson is. Let's see if any more lessons come. The first one was, again, a lot of my conditioning was about getting it right and figuring things out and making it perfect, like all of that, and so most of what fueled my approach in the beginning was something in life that I wanted to figure out, something in life that I wanted to like fix or change or like be successful at, and so I kind of approach personal growth with a lens of there being an end to it, like it being a linear path where I learned skills one, two and three and then I manifest whatever it is that I want and once it's done, it's done and I'll never have to struggle again, I'll never have to go through the hard times. That's like saying, like I go through spring, I enjoy summer and then it's like the fall never gets here and winter never arrives again.

Speaker 1: 59:59

Life is life, and I remember that one of the things that struck me the most was because when I say mentor, it's not someone that I watched a YouTube video of or went to an event.

Speaker 1: 1:00:11

It's like someone that I actually like got to spend really intimate time with, have dinners with, spend time with them, travel with them, like whatever it is.

Speaker 1: 1:00:18

And so as I get close with these people, I see them in their humanness.

Speaker 1: 1:00:27

Get close with these people, I see them in their humanness and all of a sudden, this whole facade that I had of what I thought I wanted crumbles, because I see they're just as human as everyone else and we all struggle and we all go through our awesomeness and we all go through our hard times and all of a sudden this whole facade crumbles and it was like a dark night, as a soul moment.

Speaker 1: 1:00:44

It was really hard for me to process that, but it taught me the biggest lesson, which is I started off being excited about personal growth because it was like I could figure things out, but I got even more excited to see that wow, like life never stops being messy and chaotic and human, but I can get more skilled at creating magic in it, in the imperfection, in the messiness, in the rawness, in the vulnerability. I get to choose how I want to go through that and I want to go through that with magic and adventure and awe and vulnerability and authenticity. And that was honestly life-defining to not try to get rid of the messiness but to create freaking magic in it.

Speaker 2: 1:01:41

Beautifully said. I love that To me. It makes me think of this as I've been studying Mary Magdalene this truth to me that we are fully human, fully divine, and just these moments of just embracing. I had a very. I was talking to a friend yesterday. I had a very human day yesterday. I was just in messy messiness. It felt like confusion and just a little bit of frustration and irritation and like what's the next thing? And I've got a dog that's had um, and just reminded of like oh yeah, this is part of what it is to be human, this is part of what it is to live in this meat suit we have, but also the magic. Is that really that fully divine part that we kind of to bring a full circle where we started, that we are co-creating, we are co-creating this life that we get to live? And so, yeah, it's messy and it's magic. I love that. Before I let you go, if people want to get ahold of you, if they want to work with you, where do they find you?

Speaker 1: 1:02:53

Thank you for that, so you can go to my website. It's I, the letters I N, and then my name, tiago Freire, and I am currently booked out. I don't have availability for any more breathwork sessions, but I'm developing an online course and like a podcast coming up all in January 2025. Cause I've been for nine years just like doing my own thing and now I'm going to start like posting on social media, and all of that starting in January 2025.

Speaker 1: 1:03:18

So if anyone resonates with any of that, they're more than welcome to like, go to my website, subscribe to the newsletter and, like you'll be updated when I launch things.

Speaker 2: 1:03:28

All right, I'll put that all in the show notes. Thank you so much, tiago. You are a gift. Thank you for your work, thank you for taking the leaps into the absolute unknown and being an example um that I think, men and women, but particularly I know you've had this passion for young men to be an example, to be a living example of what it is to live in the mess and the adventure, and how important this is for our culture, for the collective, during this time to be raising, raising our frequency, raising our awareness. So, thank you, thank you, thank you On behalf of all the collective and all of the things.

Speaker 1: 1:04:08

Thank you so much, appreciate you. Thank you so much, really appreciate you as well.